OMG! Ohhhh Geez I’m Hot!
Deep deep sigh! I just can’t get comfortable. I am a bit annoyed, agitated, and frustrated. OMG! I think I may combust. Well, maybe not literally but this is how I feel. I am having all the feels. Father God, please help! Please send the fire department. Or better yet send the fireman. Make sure he is muscular and have a caramel or chocolate complexion. Lord, can you please make sure he has broad shoulders and a strong back. Just one more thing, Lord. Can he be slightly sweaty and knock on the door and say in a deep voice, “Mam, did someone from this address call the fire department?” Guess I feel asleep in this darn chair yet again. Boy, its hot. This has to be worse than menopause. I am hot and bothered. The life after divorce can sometimes look like this. The heat surely does turn on. The libido surely will rise as it should!
I remember after I divorced I heard just pray. I think I was insulted and annoyed. Who was to say I did not pray? Yes, I wholeheartedly believe in prayer. However, prayer will not stop your hormones from doing what they do. It’s just normal for that to happen especially in women. It can be extremely challenging going from having a warm body in your bed to just you. I can say that was extremely hard for me. It was hard for me because I was now living in a house by myself with my eight year old son and an eight month old baby. Then I no longer had a sexual partner. That made me feel all kinds of ways.
These are real conversations that we must have in our journey after a divorce. Some rush immediately to feel that void because they do not want to feel that deep emotional pain. That was not my story at all. I needed to get myself together and I was not in a good position mentally to invite a random man in my bed just to fulfill my sexual desires. So, yes many nights I was hot and bothered and just loathing to be touched. I know I am not the only one who has felt that after a divorce.
It is imperative that we address our humanity while going through a divorce and after the ink dries on the divorce papers. We must have the conversation about our sexual desires as women who have divorced. Some may lose an interest in sex temporarily because of the emotional connection they may still have with their mate or emotional pain. It is surely different for everyone. I think women who have divorced must have safe spaces to share in to discuss topics of sex after divorce. I know we all have sexual needs and desires but I encourage healing in the soul before connecting sexually with another. Sex will not ease deep emotional pain. Yes, it may make you feel good at the moment however the real issues must get addressed.
Tarinna Olley