Can We Still Be Nice Even Though People May Do Things Differently Than You?
Just the this morning I got extremely upset. I was upset that my spouse did not use the microwave cover and spaghetti sauce was splattered all in the microwave. I went into an entire hissy fit all by myself. I said omg, this is just a mess and disgusting and I went on and on. I know I am not the only one who has ever gotten so upset about something small that someone did. I shared this story just to show that everyone will do things differently. However, we should not allow the differences in others to make us become mean and contrary.
Every one has a tendency to feel that the way they do things is best. I know I had to work through that way of thinking. Quite honestly I still work at it. Let me lend a little strategy that tends to work for me. I try to pause and not speak when I feel my emotions kicking into high gear. That pause can give you a moment to gather and collect your thoughts and give you a chance to prepare a response that will be well received. We must accept that people will not do things as you like them to be done no matter how big or small. We must learn how to convey in a positive matter when we disagree with the way someone did something. However, we must assess if it is an appropriate space to lend your comment or opinion. Sometimes, it is just not appropriate to tell a person you did not like how they did something because it was their choice and your opinion does not matter in that space.
It is critical we respect differences. We must embrace the differences people bring to this world. I believe it helps you grow as a person if you are open to learning new ways of doing things. What will it cost you to try? Or, is your ego too inflated and selfishness lingers in your bones and you just want things done your way. There also may be fear inside your heart and you are simply afraid to try new and different things. Stretching and growing requires you to get of your comfort zone. I believe this is where the magic happens when we get out of ourselves and just take a leap of faith. We must let go of the parachute of emotional safety and jump. We will never know how beautiful new things are if we do not try to explore them.
Taking a leap of faith can be risky but its necessary for growth
It is equally important not to envy or secretly hate someone you see doing different things because you do not have the courage to try. We must let go off all the malicious feelings that don’t serve us well or others. It is imperative we find a way to celebrate differences. We must also exhibit understanding and respect for those in our immediate circles who will forever do things differently than you. Yes, things may annoy you when someone does something that is so different from the way you do things. In those moments we must still show love and kindness and use words that do not promote strife.
Here is a simple example how to diffuse conflict when someone does something different than your norm. Your spouse could have a habit of leaving his shoes in the front door which is different than what you do. You could possibly say in a calm manner, “Honey, I tend to trip over your shoes when I enter the front door because I just don’t see them. Baby could we agree to put a shoe rack somewhere near the door entrance?” On the contrary yelling and saying, “You cluttery man, can you just move the shoes already?” I am quite positive this approach will not be received well. In essence, we must regulate our emotional center and use kind words and respect the differences of others.
Tarinna Olley